15 March 2023

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Szostak writes to say ‘All OK. Details forthcoming soon.’

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So the pressure is off. But I might still take the 2020 diary with me when we go to Pete and Gloria’s. ‘I’ll need something to read last thing at night,’ I explain to Flora.

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‘I’m making no comment,’ she replies.

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The plan now is to stay in Frome for a week, then come back via Hampshire and be with Luisa and Jim and the kids for the following weekend.

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There’s a call from Luisa at lunchtime. They are all looking forward to seeing us. It’s just not the same seeing each other via mobile. And who would ever have supposed, back in the pre-mobile phone era, that it would have been possible to witness your grandchildren growing up from a distance?

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As for this diary, maybe once I’ve been through it, I ought to throw it away. Shred it to bits. Who in my family will ever want to read it? The kids will learn about the pandemic in their history books.

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Meanwhile, just a few more pages:

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Monday 1 June 2020

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On Lorna’s blog, Czajka has posted a short piece about drums and drumming. (Is he trying to stay away from politics, following his row with Marielle?) He hasn’t played drums for a while, he says, but has invested in an electronic kit and is practising throughout the lockdown – under headphones. There’s a link to an article from Radio New Zealand about Ringo Starr; an appreciation of the Beatles’ drummer. ‘Underrate him at your peril,’ writes Czajka. And there’s this: ‘Music and politics don’t always mix,’ he continues. ‘When Beatles legend (Sir) Ringo Starr decided to voice his opinion on the subject of Brexit, he came in for some completely undeserved flak, with the odd commentator even questioning his drumming skills. Whatever anyone thinks about his politics, should his musicianship be part of the argument? Of course not.’

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Quite right, Czajka. Agree 100%.

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Tuesday 2 June 2020

The music industry has designated today ‘Blackout Tuesday’ in solidarity with anti-racism protests. Lorna has emailed me. ‘This could be asking a lot,’ she writes, ‘but do you think you could put together a playlist reflecting what’s happening right now? I don’t care if people are black, white or purple. If they’re being oppressed, it can never be right. Marvin Gaye’s ‘What’s Going On’ sprang to mind immediately. Another one I thought of was ‘Revolution’ by The Beatles, but even though the lyrics are perfect, if anyone reads just the title in a playlist, it could be seen as a call to arms’.

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I think I know what she’s getting at. I thought of ‘Uprising’ by Muse and ‘Beds Are Burning’ by Midnight Oil, but I might go for some others. It’s not so much the songs themselves, but the titles, as Lorna says. She is probably more political than I am, but I wouldn’t want her blog to be accused of being inflammatory. I get the impression that she feels completely powerless but wants to do something, anything.

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Wednesday 3 June 2020

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Much cooler today. Looks like the mini-heatwave is over. We might even get some rain. The garden could do with it.

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10.15 PM. Guardian: ‘Boris Johnson – PM declares himself ‘very proud’ of coronavirus response’.

Statistics on BBC’s Newsnight show that the daily death rate for the UK – pop. 66 million – is more than the daily total deaths from all 27 EU nations – with a combined population of 450 million. Staggering.

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Saturday 6 June 2020

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Face masks will be compulsory on public transport from 15 June.

D-Day today. Commemorations muted for obvious reasons.

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There’s a post from Czajka on Lorna’s blog: ‘Book of collected writings coming up! Watch this space!’ So what’s he doing now? What happened to his ‘Citizen X’ story?

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5.30 PM. Thunder. There are demonstrations in London.

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11.45 PM. Guardian: ‘Latest George Floyd protests draw hundreds of thousands across US.’ ‘UK protests – thousands attend George Floyd rallies, defying calls to avoid mass gatherings.’

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Sunday 7 June 2020

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Demos during the day. A statue of Edward Colston, Bristol philanthropist but also slave trader, gets toppled and then thrown into the drink at the harbour.  

First social outing. Not at all happy about it. Birthday present to a friend, so round the side of the house, along an alleyway straight through to the garden. Social distancing. Didn’t touch anything. Four people, including the two of us. I felt very awkward, as if I was being paranoid.

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Trojanowski posted a brief item via our email group. ‘Thirst among the ancients’, he writes, ‘here’s what the Egyptians drank.’ He posts a link to an article he has just found called ‘Drink Like an Egyptian’ from the Institute of Archaeology at Tel Aviv University. All about how beer was the staple drink of the Egyptians. Interesting. Lightens things up a bit.

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I’ve had a look at Czajka’s ‘Chiswick Surfer’ website. An entirely new layout. A work in progress, it appears. But it does also look a bit as if he’s trying to shoe-horn old material into this, like the sketch about a fancy dress party on Oahu which we included in my memoir about Speedy Malinowski and Radio Free Erconwald. The entire Hawaiian section was mainly Czajka’s work, and he collaborated with me on the rest of the material inasmuch as he checked through the places where I had written about Polish history. As a matter of fact, I thought at the time that the fictionalized story of Felix Hetman, the Hawaiian tycoon, could be met with objections from his Hawaiian family, since we used Felix’s real name, even though it glamourizes him. (His English relations, his nephew Rocco Hartleb and Rocco’s parents, are long gone). The full family name, according to some research which his son’s wife had been carrying out, was actually Hartleb-Hetman. Rocco’s grandfather, whom I had fictionalized as the painter Stanislaw Hetman, was indeed a painter, but his actual name was Chwalisław Millar Hartleb-Hetman, and he had made a name for himself before the war as C.M. Hartleb-Hetman. His son Felicjan, although he dropped the ‘Hartleb’, and was known as Felix Hetman, still tended to sign himself as ‘F.H. Hetman.’ Czajka said he’d discussed the whole idea of the story before going into print via emails with his son, whom he’d met some years back when he and Marielle visited Oahu on one of their globe-trotting holidays. Felix’s younger son had died in a tragic accident some years back and it turns out that the older one had long ago dropped the ‘Hetman’ in favour of ‘Hartleb', so, theoretically, in his own words, ‘the story didn’t concern him', which is how he phrased it. Even Czajka, who likes to delve into family histories, wasn’t sure what the reason was behind the apparent indifference, and he said he suspected there was some kind of falling out between father and son.

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Maybe that was the reason why he wrote the entire saga in the first place? Even though exaggerated and quite untrue in some places, yet it was still a tribute to a man who had clearly impressed him when they met. All the same, I need to be careful if I ever did invite Czajka to collaborate with me again, since he does tend to blur the line between fact and fiction.

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(And was it perhaps his writing something similar in his many comments at various sites which was at the bottom of his recent problem with the Polish authorities?) 

Perhaps he's best at sticking to his totally flippant and unbelievable material. An example of which, for instance, appears on his blog and reads: ‘Tropic of Chiswick – Phew, what a scorcher! Stamford Brook man fries egg on pavement. Story and recipes page 34.’ (Just like Private Eye’s famous page 94, there is no page 34). There’s an ’advertisement’ with a photo of Harold Wilson smoking a pipe with the caption: ‘a week is a long time in…in…’ and then another photo, with Harold MacMillan, captioned: ‘You’ve never had it so…so…’ The blurb says: ‘Does YOUR memory let you down? Are you an object of ridicule to your friends and/or offspring? Now there’s a remedy! It’s the fantastic memory course, available online and from selected retailers, by Professor…Professor…er…’

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There’s more.

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‘Special feature: Tense, nervous headache? Big game on Sunday? Overdue dental appointment? Truculent workforce? Aggressive marketing wearing you out? Sleepless nights? Pension problems? Roses inexplicably wilting? Forget it all. Relax. Take time out and check out ‘Ramblings and Fantasies’ by Augustyn Czajka.

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There’s a link to the book available online. He told me ages ago that he was working on one but I didn’t realize he’d actually finished it. So here it is. I guess the idea of this website is to plug the book. It looks like it’s a collection of essays. It’s probably stuff from his days of writing for ‘Poznan Today’. Maybe things which didn’t get published? I suppose I’d better order a copy. Maybe he’ll be putting more stuff on his own website rather than posting masses of items on Lorna’s blog. But what happened to his ‘Citizen X’ story? Lorna said it was going to appear in instalments. Has he forgotten about that?

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Last thing at night, Czajka posts an old photo on our email loop. It’s from back in the early eighties and it’s Czajka in a white toga and laurel wreath on head, holding a beer glass and looking at the camera with Mr Spock-style raised eyebrow. Actually his pose here reminds me of Bluto Blutarsky from the ‘Animal House’ film. There’s Trojanowski behind him in black turtleneck looking like James Bond and me with hair tied back and wearing a three-cornered hat talking to someone out of shot. I vaguely remember it. It was a fancy dress party at Greg’s and I think Czajka was the Emperor Claudius. I was supposed to be Paul Revere, but nobody at the party seemed to know who Paul Revere was. (So much for my American education). Actually Greg and Czajka and a couple of others knew of Paul Revere and the Raiders, the rock group. Czajka puts a caption under the photo: ‘The autocrat whose people are turning against him, will usually try to stay in power by deflecting criticism from himself and finding someone else on whom the people can vent their frustrations. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t’. He signs it ‘I, Chai’.

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Wednesday 10 June 2020

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A columnist at the Daily Mail seems to be arguing that the statue of slave trader Colston which was dumped into the harbour in Bristol should have been preserved as a memorial to the evils of slavery. Strange backwards logic. That’s not why the statue was put up in the first place. It’s a bit like arguing that statues of Stalin should remain standing as a memorial to his victims.

9.30 PM. Guardian: ‘‘Enforcing UK restrictions one week sooner’ could have saved 20,000 lives’. This is a claim from one of the government’s former scientific advisers.

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Thursday 11 June 2020

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Another cool dry day. The Colston statue has been fished out of the water in Bristol and the city will put it in a museum. What will replace it will be decided by Bristol’s citizens, says the mayor.

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Guardian: ‘Government under pressure to scrap 2 metre distancing rule in England.’

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Trojanowski has a ‘eureka moment’, as he calls it, which he shares with us via email: ‘Considering that some of today’s heroes may turn out to be tomorrow’s villains, maybe statues should have an expiry date? ‘Best before’ etc?’ Not such a bad idea, actually, but, of course, some statues of oppressors were imposed on populations. Once the oppressive regime is gone, why keep them?

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According to TPM (talking points memo.com) ‘Rupert Murdoch’ (a US – formerly Australian - media mogul) ‘predicts Trump will crash and burn in November elections’. That’s an interesting piece of news.

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‘Speaking of statues…,’ Czajka writes in and posts a picture of the famous Emperor Augustus statue, arm extended, finger pointing into the distance. The emperor is wearing upper body armour with a rippling pectorals breastplate. The caption underneath reads: ‘You, too, can have a body like mine if you read ‘Ramblings and Fantasies’ by Augustyn Czajka, and he posts a link to the book, available to order online.

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There is an item on the BBC’s website saying that US band Lady Antebellum are changing their name to Lady A because of the connotations of the name. I don’t know if Lorna has seen that so I fire off a quick email. I listed them on my April 11 playlist.

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Lorna writes back saying she’ll change the band’s name on her blog.

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Saturday 13 June 2020

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On the ‘Chiswick Surfer’, Czajka has posted ‘Update From the Ancient World’. There’s a photo of the famous Winged Victory of Samothrace statue (with no head), and the caption reads: ‘Do you ever feel as if you’re missing something? You’ll feel complete again after you’ve read ‘Ramblings and Fantasies’ by Augustyn Czajka.’ His parting shot is: ‘Watch this space for up-to-the-minute information. The Chiswick Surfer – an island of chaos in a sea of tranquility.’

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Well, so much for Czajka’s website. I suppose it’s aimed at the rest of us. I can’t see many people making much sense of it.

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6 PM. Guardian: ‘Beijing reimposes lockdown after new Covid outbreak.’ ‘London – right-wing protesters clash with police.’

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Telegraph: ‘London protests – two police officers injured in clashes with demonstrators’. ‘The Home Secretary showed a video of far-right protesters in London throwing objects at Police’.

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Sunday 14 June 2020

Greg relays something which Ludo has posted. It’s the editor of the Lancet saying that ‘UK’s Covid response is greatest science policy failure for a generation’.

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I sent Lorna a list of some likely choices. (And what a great bit of bass playing on the Marvin Gaye number – I remember Simmonds used to be a big fan of James Jamerson). I called the playlist ‘We the People’ after one of the song titles.

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I think she approved of the choices. She wrote back later asking if I thought Izabela would be interested in compiling a classical music playlist? It would be a bit of variety, she said. I told her that maybe she should compile a jazzy playlist of her own. ‘I’m happy to suggest one or two tracks, but I’ll leave you to do the compiling, if that’s alright with you,’ she replied.

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There’s nothing new on Lorna’s blog, but on Czajka’s ‘Chiswick Surfer’, he’s busy plugging his book. He has put up various photos on a Roman theme; Marcello Mastroianni and Anita Ekberg in the Trevi Fountain from Fellini’s ‘La Dolce Vita’, a view of Cypress trees along the Appian Way, the Emperor Augustus statue which he’d used before, all captioned ‘I used to think all roads led to Rome until I discovered ‘Ramblings and Fantasies’ by Augustyn Czajka.’

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Thursday 18 June 2020

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Rain late morning. On Lorna’s blog, there’s some poetry by one of her friends, which I confess I don’t actually understand. I’ll have to go over it again. She has also put up my ‘We the People’ playlist:

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Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On

Billy Cobham, Gino Vannelli, Alex Acuña, Novecento – We the People

Todd Rundgren - Tables Will Turn

Buffalo Springfield – For What it’s Worth

The Christians - …And That’s Why

London Grammar – Hey Now (Zero 7 Remix)

The Isley Brothers – Harvest for the World

Otis Redding – Tell the Truth

KT Tunstall – Human Being

Marcus Miller – We Were There

Ringo Starr – Peace Dream

Bobby Taylor & The Vancouvers – One World

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Meanwhile, on the ‘Chiswick Surfer’, Czajka is on a roll, plugging his book. He has now posted the picture of ‘The Judgment of Paris’ by Rubens, featuring the painter’s characteristically rotund women with the caption: ‘I used to worry about my weight until I discovered ‘Ramblings and Fantasies’ by Augustyn Czajka.’ There’s a link to the book. I’ve got it on order.

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There’s more on Czajka’s website. He has posted a picture of an ancient Greek warrior with horse-hair plumed helmet and the title is: ‘Alternative Truth and Whataboutism in the Ancient World’. The text reads: ‘A newly discovered fragment, probably the work of a court scribe from Sparta’.

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“Does the fact that King Menelaus set out to destroy the city of Troy necessarily make him anti-Trojan? The answer is, of course not. His war against Troy was not motivated by anti-Trojanism, but by their abduction of his wife Helen. Anyway, what about the Trojans’ own treatment of foreigners in their midst? What about their unjust treatment of the  - (end of fragment)”

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Friday 19 June 2020

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Weather non-descript. Trying to avoid the news. Flora has baked a cake for Marielle’s birthday. We’ve decided to visit Marielle and Czajka this afternoon and sit in their garden.

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Drove over to Czajka’s place. Sitting around in his garden, socially distancing, with eats and drinks. Weird. There were five of us, so within the rules: Flora and myself, Czajka and Marielle and Trojanowski was there, too. Maxine didn’t want to join us – she’s still feeling too nervous about going out socializing. I understand how she feels. It still feels strange being out anywhere. I felt a bit left out as well, because Czajka and Trojanowski ended up discussing Polish politics, about the upcoming presidential elections. ‘Can we talk about something else?’ said Marielle. ‘I’ve had enough of politics.’ ‘I get this every day,’ she later confided to Flora. ‘Politics, if not Polish, then British politics. It’s enough to drive anyone crazy. How many other wives would actually encourage their husbands to play the drums instead?’

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‘What happened to your ‘Citizen X’ story?’ I asked Czajka before we left. ‘I thought it was going to appear on Lorna’s blog.'

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‘Working on the ending,’ he said. ‘I don’t want to post the first instalment until the whole thing is finished. Should be soon.’

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When we got back, Czajka’s book had arrived. I suppose I’ll need to read it through, Czajka being one of my oldest friends. I think he’s hoping I’ll write a review.

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Back to the future, that is the here and now, i.e. Wednesday 15 March 2023.

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Marielle has just posted a message telling everyone that the district court threw out the case against Czajka yesterday. They will tell us all about it when they get back. She meant to tell us last night but they were too busy celebrating with Mateusz, Sophie, their lawyer and Szostak in one of the restaurants near the Rynek, the main square. Mateusz’s parents have invited them to stay at their house in the country. Marielle posted some photos of the wedding, which took place a week before the house arrest episode. ‘It was just like Wyspiański’s Wesele,’ she writes. I haven’t read the play, but I remember seeing the Andrzej Wajda film back in the seventies, and more or less followed the storyline about a poet marrying a country girl. The film must have had subtitles because I don’t think I would have understood every single bit of the dialogue back then. I admit most of the historical references were lost on me and I have had to read up on it since. As a matter of fact, to give Czajka his due, I learned about the play - and the film – and its historical context from one of his essays at Poznan Today. He gave the essay a Polish title, Miałeś Chamie Złoty Róg (a line from the play) but the piece was in English. At the end of the article he translated the title as ‘You had a golden horn, you churl’ and added ‘but you blew it’, which wordplay works in English but not in Polish, ironically enough.

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Szostak also shares some news with our email group. It seems that someone in the mayor’s office was a big fan of the Booster Rockets and when she heard about what had happened, invited Czajka and Marielle for a tour of Krakow and environs, including a dinner and a concert. They are coming back to London on Friday (on the same day that Flora and I are going out to Frome), but then they’ll be heading over to Copenhagen on the following Monday because Rob is due to be flying over there on company business, so they’ll meet up with him next week. So we probably won’t see him and Marielle for a while, maybe not for another week or two, depending on how long they stay in Copenhagen. But it seems that all’s well that ends well, although we still don’t know exactly what happened and on what specific grounds the case was brought in the first place and what caused it to be dismissed. No doubt we’ll find out when they come back from Denmark.

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Now that Marielle has sent us the good news, the pressure is definitely off and I can take it easy. I might go through the rest of Czajka’s blog posts or I might not. I’m still going to go through my old diary, though. ‘Why?’ asks Flora. I’m tempted to offer the George Mallory answer (‘because it’s there’) but I can’t really think of a good reason. I know what happened in 2020. Everyone knows what happened in 2020. But I can’t help it, Your Honour. I must read on.

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